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3/4 th's through the semester is rough [Apr. 1st, 2008|06:17 pm]
[Current Location |greensboro]
[music |mercy me - god with us]

Well here we are at the time during a school semester where things begin to stack up. Due to my procrastinating nature and my monster work schedule over the weekends i basically got no home work done at all. This of course gave me great anxiety going into german this morning knowing there would be a vocab quiz on words I've never took the time to look at. so ya i get in class 30 mins early and open my bag to get my book to run through words once and what do you know. the book isnt there. no that gut feeling that said check your bag befor you leave the house was cut down by my tired self. so ya no book and no time to go get it. so i just whip out the work book and get through what i can taht might help. basically 5 verbs and thats it. so my teacher comes in puts each word on the board one by one. i sit there starring blankly having no clue what the german counter parts of them are. then he gets to word 10 "to thank" bingo bango bongo thats one of the 5 verbs danken. another one of the verbs was in the list too i didnt recongnize it because he put a different definition then i had in mind. either way it was basically a complete failure 10/100 for sure. i spent the rest of the class nervously participating and half way asleep. but thats german for you.

then i go to my next class. western religions in china. we go through the class lecture which basically is the teacher going over the exact same things i posted on the class discussion board last week. cake in cake out. at the end of class he passes out the tests we had taken about 2 weeks ago. 100/100. its not like i didnt miss anything i missed a true of false question worth 1 point but picked it up with the 1 bonus point i earned from the possible 2 points extra credit. ya guess thats why im a religious studies major. and that goes without even mentioning that i bairly even studied for that test or even read anything that partained to it. compare taht to german where i have to try and studay like 3 hours aday 3 or 4 days a week just to get a low b on the test. truth be told the test could of been alot harder but the professor isnt going to do that to all those non majors in this overview class.

baptism coming up this sunday. im really interested to see all whos coming.
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not timid [Mar. 26th, 2008|01:45 pm]
[Current Location |greensboro]
[music |Kutless - Run]

So last night is the first night in about a week that I've actually got good sleep. This is of course in part that I didnt have to get up to do anything so got to sleep for 10 or 11 hours. But the problem latly has not been lack of time. I have constantly given myself around 8 hours of time to sleep, but just been capable of grasping it. I have just spent the nights tossing and turning awake with stuff swirling around in my head.

Alot of this have been swirling around in my head. Hobbies like cooking, tv shows, school work, relationships, and all kinds of things. One big part of it is what is my direction. As usual I am trying to walk the narrow path and constantly stay true to my God and myself to really know who I am at the core. This of course causes me to take alot of time to soul search and just think on what is IT all about. I see myself as if I have to choose now where my path goes for the next two years and from then for the rest of my life, but thats alot to think about espically when you don't know what your called direction is.

i've been thinking about the military more, and its part of the catalyst that sparked this whole life direction thing. I was in the walmart parking lot throwign the last bag of groceries in my car when a marine recruiter pulled up behind me and asked if we could meet and talk. So from that I've been looking up info about joining the marines and the military in general. It has been in the back of my mind since I started going to school in greensboro about joining up. In the past I've always said if i joined the military it would probably be the marines because there the best. But I also have the goal of if im gonna sign up now I want them to finish paying for all my school and to do that with the marines i would have to join the reserves which would be very complicated.

another alternative to the marines is the navy. I'm drawn to them for several reasons. One they're the ones who travel the most. Ive always wanted to travel and thats the force you join if u want to travel. Secondly they have chaplins and they have the chaplins that work with marines too. since the marines are a core force of the navy they dont have their own medical or spiritual workers they use the navies. i've thought about being a chaplin I dont know if i really understand the job well enough to do it and dont realy know if i want to be roped into the militaries clergy game. but it would put my major to good use and another factor for liking the navy is taht they would pay for the rest of my school and pay me to go to school for the next 2 years. Then i would fully be in for like 5 years. thats doesnt sound bad to me as long as i could get the chaplain job and actually be accepted into the program.

then there is the third choice which is the no military choice. Ii still dotn konw where I would go when i finish school. theres other groups like americore and the peace core and missionary groups. I wouldnt mind doing any of those types of thigns but i dont really have the best personal record of doing community service or helping other i dotn know. theres a part of me taht wants to but just doesnt seem to ahve the tiem to get out there and do it. to really do it would also require a car which i dont really have and to keep my job which im thinking about ditching to take up more school work.

Not sure whats next but I've alraedy met with the marine recruiter and told him I would keep it in mind. He said they would call again in 3 months. Thats fine with me. I'll probably contact the navy recruiter and find out more about their program. And i guess I just pray and listen to see what the Lord speaks to do next. I think I'm gonnna wait till after baptisim before i contact the navy guy. give me time to give my head a rest and hopefully get soem rest.

Waiting for Him to breath,
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greensboro week 1 to semester 2 [Mar. 25th, 2008|11:53 pm]
[Current Location |greensboro]
[music |red- break me down]

Long time since that last post. Seems as I was ready for new things when I posted that last entry, and the same can be said as well for this one. That last semester ended fairly well. I think I got 3 A's and a B, but maybe it was a little different than that. Since then I've started going to less parties, partly due to a short lived split between Dominic and I and the rugby girls, also due to more work. I only have classes on tuesday and thursday now and that works ok other then I seem to be tired dead tired on tuesdays after working the days before. i work friday through monday usualy and sometimes even a coupel hours on tuesdays before i go to school 9.30-3.30. My job is at panera bread doing just about anything, I've had the job basically since that last post was made.

I meeting some really nice people this semester. Part of it is getting to know those that i work with better. Another part is getting to really know a few people in my classes. the last part is getting involved in church. near the end of last semester i stumbled upon an on campus ministry of a church called daystar christian fellowship. after going to the last few weeks of the on campus services I located their new building only about a mile away from the school and started attending there. This chruch is down right amazing. the first time i attended after hearing what the church was about I was like this is perfect for me. I felt as if i had finally found home. so i've been trying to get more involved in church matters ever since. I joined a small group which has helped me get to know several other uncg students in a semipersonal way. I have signed up to basically be a greeter at services and i start doing that this sunday. I also checked that i wanted to be baptized soon and that is scheduled to happen in a couple sundays, but it may get side tracked for another month depending on factors.

Although my small group is great, i still fill disattached from most of them in a certain way. they just seem a different type than me and some of them click better then I do with them. I still wish we could all be on the next level and be like true brothers and sisters the type that are always together and always look out for each other. that's the attitude I try to give everyone I meet. real realness, but I know their school work and other activities are calling them other places most of the time. so one night a week will just have to do for the most part. I wonder how we will end up after the school semester ends, because once summer comes some of us will not be around any more and others will just be to busy. I think its kind of funny that we are "too busy" to really spend time with each other more then one night, but we all say we love small group more then alot of things. well atleast their is sunday morning were most of us will hopefully still see each other and maybe other chruch events.

When it comes to my faith it hasn't shaken. Some of the things from last semester that I learned about different christian theologies has worked on my mind and got me to think in different ways. Mainly making me more open to more and more people becoming everything to everyone I guess, but still being myself to that end. My classes this semester have left be bored for the most part. In the last week I've really become fixated in trying to figure out where I'm suppose to be doing for the next two years and the rest of my life really, but have only recieved half answers. I havn't slept well latly due to my constant milling over of what i should be doing.

My reading of scripture has tapered off due partly to school and partly to work. I seem to not have the motivation or time or energy to do it. Same thing goes for the gym. A couple weeks ago i was doing good with getting in the gym but now due maybe a little bit to sickness i'm too tired to get there mroe then maybe twice a week. I need to get back into both disciplines to get stronger. I need to beat my body into shape to be able to serve. I'm also going to try and get back into the habbit of posting. Hopefully it will help me from going stir crazy in my mind and help me put together some stuff.
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greensboro week 1 [Aug. 26th, 2007|04:42 pm]
[Current Location |Greensboro]
[mood |accomplished]
[music |stop your sobbing by the pretenders]

So much has changed since last time I posted. I no longer am living in Charlotte, but have moved to Greensboro North Carolina for school. I've transferred to the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. My major is religious studies because thats about the only thing that interest me. It's funny nearly every time I'm talking to some new person about school and majors, when I tell them what I'm majoring in they want to know if I want to become a pastor or something. That would be cool, but I know I wouldn't commit to something like that without the Lord leading me to do so. Right now I don't know what I would do with such a degree, but I feel as if the Lord has lead me in this direction over the summer.

Some good things have come together in the last few weeks when moving to Greensboro. The Lord deserves much praise for making the transition so smooth and for his provisions. I've been neglecting to read scripture as I move into doing homework for classes and what not, but I'm going to get back on it. I'm looking to get involved with some Christian groups on campus, but I'm not sure which ones yet. It's kind of hard feeling as a lone follower of Messiah sometimes. I haven't been active in any type of congregation in such a long time, but truthfully even in that congregation is wasn't much more then a Sunday Morning follower when it came to growing the body.

College life is interesting. Everyone I've met so far here drinks to drunkeness and most act in their carnal natures, but most people I've met here have been at parties. Hopefully casting out into different waters will find different fish. I feel so different then everyone else when at parties, because I don't drink. I find its the type of thing in college that sticks with people and stands as a picture of your character. The no drinking thing combined with religious studies major always bring images of pure priest types to people's minds. I don't try to encourage people to give up the alcohol, but I've tried to discourage them from getting so drunk. This goes espically for the young ladies here. I've met some that are so very nice, but wreck them selves and make themselves vulnerable to bad things due to alcohol.

But things seem like there going well so far. Classes aren't bad and I'm going to just take everyday one at a time and try to stand as a beacon for the most high God.

Brother in Messiah,

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Body By God [May. 15th, 2007|11:45 am]
So over the past 5 weeks every monday my mother, brother and I have gone to our Church to participate in an interesting little program called Body By God The extreme make over. The program focuses on this book of the same name and making over your body into a healthy form.

To do this the book trys to make the reader understand how God intended the food to be. That means eating non-processed/from the earth food, avoiding addictive ingredients, and having balanced nutrition throughout the day. The book doesn't go exactly with scriptural commands given to Israel, but implies them. Saying that eating pigs and shelfish arn't designed for the human bodies digestion and contain toxins and what not.

The program also stresses the idea of being at peace and removing stress from your life. This part wasn't that hard for me, but the book focused alot on this giving helpful montra like phrases to go over with yourself to break worldly acceptance habits. To go along with this the book puts alot of support on scheduling your time. This is a good thing that I need to learn. Right now I have alot of free time, but with my summer class coming up and a summer job I need to be able to manage my time so I don't neglect my health or more importantly my Lord.

The third part of the program, just as important as the last two, is exercise. The program supports the idea tha we were given bodies by God to move and work nearly constantly, but this has been stiffled by the society we live in. Which is obvious to anyone in America with all our obiece people. So the book stress scheduling times every week to exercise both aerobic and resistance exercise.

Throughout all these pieces of the program is the idea that we all need to look toward God in how we should live. Doing all things that will help us live the long lives he wants to bless us with so that we can serve him better and longer. And that we all need to give him atleast a specific time of the day where we will read His Word, listen to Him, and talk with Him.

Our instructor for the program, apart from God, was a man we called Dr.Mark. He was an energetic fellow who seemed intouch with the Lord and was very helpful delivering the information and answering questions. An interesting fellow he is one of the few people that I've seen that actualy seem to glow for the Lord and live a life to try to serve His purposes to the fullest. He also brought another piece of the health puzzle to the table. Being a chiropractor he tryed to communicate the importance of having a proper spine so that the central nervous system would work properly.

The whole program gives me the feeling that we all can learn to be healthier and live better with a little work, time, and money. It's not the easiest thing to break old habbits and start a new way of living and thinking, but it can be done. The program also gave me the feeling that if you live my this code of eating things the way the Lord intended and staying fit and at peace you will be different then most people. Once again showing that the Lord's chosen will be different then those around them and a glowing example of the Lord grace.

The program is pretty simple and seems to be spreading around as people like Dr. Mark take it as there mission to get people living health lives in the way that God intended. I would recommend it to anyone to try because it doesnt force you to do anything you don't want to do it all your choice to change or not. The same choice that God gives us when it comes to choosing life or death in the form of being sinnful or finding forgiveness and repentance. The only problem that I have with the program is that it doesn't have any portion about cutting sin from your life or avoiding evil influences, but its all implied through living to find peace through God. And by not directly stating it makes it easier to bring into the secular world to expose them to some truth and to avoid battles between groups on theology.

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Reading of the day [Jan. 8th, 2007|12:28 am]
Rom 8:27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Rom 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
Rom 8:30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

I would say I hope to be one of the predestined to be called but to hope for something that is already chosen isn't hope. Either I am already one called that God will accept and be glorified by being like his son or I guess I'm not one to be a first born amongst other believers. I suppose its one of things you just have to know one way or ther other. And I think I know which one I've been created for. Some will be created for noble task others for common.

Rom 8:31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

So on ward and up ward.
To and for our Lord.
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(no subject) [Jan. 6th, 2007|10:55 am]
So I started this journal about a year ago and I havn't realy used it much and have looked back even less. From what I have looked back at from earlier post I would say I have trouble completly learning the lessons that our Father has taught/is teaching me. So today I'm going to look back on past experiences and try to take it to heart. By our Father's will this year will be a good one.

Father if there is only one thing that changes in my life let it be me.

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so fleshy [Dec. 23rd, 2006|12:17 am]
I havn't acted as I should have. I've been trying to act righteous in my own eyes living my own way. I need to focus on our Heavenly Father's face. I've been just doing my own things saying to heck with everyone else and in turn to my savior. This isn't how I should be living. I need to seek His kingdom and His righteousness. I haven't been seeking our Father with all my heart, body, mind, and spirit. I've been just rolling around in the flesh like all the people I hang out with. I need to be of this world not of it. My actions have been poisoning me making me bitter and stealing my joy and in turn poisoning those around me. I've not been a light in this world just a receptacal for darkness. No more I must once again pick up my cross and walk the path that our Lord has put before us. For it is narrow and I wish to serve the one who gave me Life.

My Messiahs will be done,
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rambling post for self [Dec. 1st, 2006|11:09 am]
So ya its me again. Things have come and gone since last I wrote. Alot of things I suppose. Been active with the youth group here and there. Strange group of kids. Well I guess not that strange I guess it's just a fact that we all as people are strange. They find me to be weird but its just that I'm past there conceited popularity mind set. But ya we all get along well enough. I don't think most of them get what I truly means to be a christian and I think a couple of them kind of resent the whole idea because they havn't realy grasped the idea of completly having Christ as their Lord and Savior. But heck there in middle school their to busy about having useless boyfriend/girlfriend relationships and making stupid drug references that know nothing about. Theres time for them and I will continue to pray for them.

Went to the c2sx retreat. That stands for choose to shair Christ. It was about learning how to better shair your faith with others. The main idea is to become friends with people and realy live a life that will reflect Christ. The whole thing took place at lake junalaska assembly in the mountains of north carolina. It was realy nice up there even when it was raining, but hey i like the rain. It was alot of fun it was alot of praise singing, skits, prayer, group meetings, "sermons", and general worshiping. Became good friends with a guy from our church named Nate Cox I had met him before and seen him on many occasions but never realy got to know him till that weekend. On the last night of the whole event everyone writes a letter to a friend or love one telling them about Christ. I wrote mine to Jeff Burke. He got it and seemed very takenaback to get a letter. But he isn't quick to press the issue of Christ, religion, or anything like that. I think it made a dent in his mind but I think he is under the thinking that one can escape hell by just not doing alot of bad things or just being a good person, but as we know there is no salvation without Christ.

After that event I gave a brief talk to the congregation about the event. Many people said I did good. It's nice to hear even if I dont think I did that well with it ;p . But after that I've just kinda spaced out. I'm becoming to much like my brother. Getting to involved in the world and not focusing on the Lord. Not listening to his word not taking time to hear him speak. Not walking by the direction of his hand. But hopefuly I can refocus know the one the cross around my neck represents and truly live a life that will reflect him and shair Christ with a lost world.

May Messiah guide us all,
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retreat! [Oct. 17th, 2006|12:17 pm]
Went on a retreat with the youth of the church. We went to the mountains the leaves were pretty but I didnt spend alot of time looking at them probably becuaes it was so windy/cold outside. It was interesting all the other kids where in the middle school so of course there chumps who think they know anything about life in general oh they will learn some day. Other then that things are a little better then normal but just about the same.

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